Jeff and Russ

Ours is an adoption story that is still unfolding, and we suspect we have many chapters to go until we’re able to finish the first volume.

Having both come from large families, we have always known that someday we would start a family of our own. Not wanting to wait any longer, we dove into the research process this past year. Surrogacy, fost-adopt, international adoption, domestic adoption, private vs. agency… the list of options goes on and on. We researched as much information as we could get our hands on – spending hours in front of the computer searching alternatives and reviewing the myriad of options open to us.

But, there comes a time when all of that great information must be put into practice, and we found there was nothing better than meeting face-to-face with others who have gone through the same situation and had real-life battle scars to prove it! For us, this took the form of a support group for prospective and current gay dads we found online called the “Pop Luck Club.”

When the time arrived for our first Pop Luck meeting, we both imagined the room would include only a handful of prospective new members - we guessed 7 or 8 people at the most. We couldn’t have been more wrong. There must have been at least 40 people! Many of the men were currently in the adoption process, some were just starting out, and others had recently adopted or fost-adopted and were there to share their stories and to provide help and assistance to us ‘newbies.’

After the initial orientation, we attended the regular Pop Luck meeting where all the dads bring their kids once a month for a chance to socialize, play, have lunch, and at the same time take some time for themselves to trade stories, bond, laugh, and spend some time with families like their own. We left our first meeting more energized than ever to start our family.

As luck would have it, our first Pop Luck Club occurred just four weeks prior to the annual Adoption Resource Fair in West Hollywood. If we hadn’t attended Pop Luck when we did, we would have completely missed this great opportunity. The fair turned out to be a great way to meet all the adoption agencies and resources at once - this saved weeks, if not months, of final preparation and research time. We left the fair having narrowed our search down to one of two agencies: AdoptHelp in Sherman Oaks and Independent Adoption Center in Los Angeles. While they both turned out to be stellar organizations, we ultimately choose to move forward with the Independent Adoption Center.

After three months of orientation meetings, home studies, fingerprinting, background checks and mounds of paperwork, we just recently made it to one of the first major milestones of the open adoption process… we finished the Birthletter! And, for those of you unfamiliar with a Birthletter, we liken it to framing the Constitution or penning the Declaration of Independence; only we think the authors of those documents had it much easier. Forming a republic can’t possibly hold a candle to the stress induced by communicating all your excitement, plans, feelings and dreams into words, let alone having to boil it all down into one double-sided piece of paper. Ok, we may be exaggerating slightly (just slightly), but this is the document that birth moms review before making their decision to contact prospective adoptive couples, so it’s not a document to be taken lightly!

Just two weeks ago our Birthletters were sent to the IAC’s main office for distribution, and it all became official on June 16th… the day our profile went live on the IAC website! It’s such a weird feeling to have put so much time and energy into the initial stages of this process, only to be at the point where all we can do is wait for a call. I suspect we’re not the only adoptive couple to feel this way, but nevertheless its still a great feeling to have. Sure, the gears have shifted a little, but we know that when the moment is right, we’ll receive a call that will change our lives forever…

Our website is:

Double Dads Website

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